Life. Part 1

May 18, 2018

Life. Part 1

Happy Friday readers! Today I thought I would write about life . Mine in particular . I wrote about my grandpa yesterday and I realized that a lot of you didn't know him . A lot of you don't know me . So today , I thought I would take a trip down memory lane and share with you all , my life .

Life . Part 1

As you may have noticed , I talk about my mom ( Lori ) , my aunt Suzanne and my grandpa a lot. They are my family . My safe place . I honestly don't know how I got so lucky. My mom , she is the strongest person I know. My aunt , she's more than just my aunt. She is like my big sister that I never had . She's like a second mom to me. My Papaw Rudy , he's more than just my grandpa , he was more so like a father to me. And my Mamaw Vicki , she was more than just my grandma , she was my best friend .

Growing up , my life was a little different than most kids my age. My mom was a single mom , and a bad ass one at that. She raised my sister , Sarah and I on her own. Some of you also might not know that Sarah , was born with Cerebral Palsy. She has been in a wheel chair her whole life . Most people always thought she was nice sister .. wrong. I'm the nice one . Growing up , she always tattled on me , ran me over countless times , and would pull my hair . She is freakishly strong , when she would grab a hold of my hair , there was no getting away . Someone usually had to pull her off of me so she didn't rip my hair out. I remember Sarah having countless surgeries growing up , my mom traveling to Pittsburgh with my Aunt and Grandparents to take her to Children's Hospital . I still remember the parking garage there . It's weird , the things you remember.

My great-grandparents were from Czechoslovakia . My grandpa was the youngest of 10 kids . They passed before I was born , but I feel like I know them because of the stories my grandma would tell. She knew everything about our family . I loved listening to the stories . I've always been a history buff . Even now , I'm obsessed with History. I thank my grandparents for that. I talk about our family and share the same stories with my kids . To me , it's so important to know where you came from.

Some of the best memories I have growing up , took place at mamaw and papaw's house. A big Magnolia tree stands in their front yard , the sound of papaw working on something in the garage , mamaw sitting in her chair watching Days of Our Lives. My mind is filled with memories , the sounds and the smells. Their house will always be home to me .

I'm the oldest grandchild , some may say I was the favorite . There was always fun stuff to do at their house . Papaw would let us kids drive his old truck around the yard . Once he let me drive his tractor , I ran over a tree in their yard . That was the end of that. We road our bikes , played in the garage. In the summer , we would ride our bikes up the road to Mike and Verdelle's ( my grandpas brother) Verdelle always had a deep freezer full of popsicles and other treats. Sarah would often venture to their house for treats and to talk. My grandma always made sure to feed us . My God that women could cook. I can still smell the breakfast she would make . Eggs, sausage , bacon , potatoes. The smell of hot peppers always filled the kitchen ( papaw's favorite) . Coffee was always in the pot , and papaw would always share with me.

My grandpa always worked out of town . He worked for Highway Paving and ran the big saws . When I would spend the night with mamaw during the week , she always let me sleep on papaws side of the bed . It was usually covered in cigarette burns , where he would fall asleep with one lit.

When I think of my Grandparents , and I know I'm not the only one , I think of George Jones . He was like a part of the family so to speak. Papaw idolized him . His music always played in the garage . That's where mamaw and papaw would sit for hours , talking , reminiscing and listening to George.
I can remember them dancing in the kitchen , mamaw smiling , and Papaw always saying " love you babe" .

My childhood was different than my friends . I helped my mom a lot with my sister . I had more responsibility than most kids . My dad wasn't around much . So papaw stepped in and became a father figure to me . He taught me how to change a tire , helped my mom buy me my first car, taught me how to drive ...well , he tried to teach me how to drive . My first car was a standard . I had no idea how to drive it . My grandpa had many , many great qualities , unfortunately patience wasn't really one of those qualities . After one evening of trying to learn , it was determined that I needed a new instructor . Thankfully , my Uncle Ronnie ( Aunt Suzanne's husband) came up every evening and I drove him around on back roads until I got the hang of shifting . He was a much better teacher .

My mom , Sarah , Aunt Suzanne and I were always going on adventures. Concerts , road trips , and vacations . We were always doing something fun. On our way to concerts we would always play tricks on Sarah . She was always the first to fall asleep . We would sing , dance , play games . We always had the best time . Sarah and I cheered all through school . My mom and aunt coached when we were younger . Even when I got older , they never missed a game or a competition. They were always there to support me .

Honestly , I think I had the best childhood. I was always surrounded by people who loved me and wanted the best for me . I was blessed with a mom , who is strong , determined, loving and selfless. She ALWAYS put Sarah and I first. She always made sure we had everything we needed , and wanted. I was blessed with an Aunt , who loves me like her own . She filled my childhood with fun and adventure . I was blessed with grandparents who loved me unconditionally . Even when I was in the wrong and may not have deserved it.

Now that I'm a mom , I look back and wonder how the hell my mom did it . How did she not fall apart and break down ? She's worked hard for everything she has , never depended on anyone. I'm sure she had her moments of fear and worry , but she never let us see that side of her.

When we lost Gracelynn , my mom , my aunt and my grandpa were by my side . They were strong for me . I couldn't have made it through this dark time without them . People keep telling me how strong I am , but my strength doesn't compare to theirs . Maybe it's the Brozak in us . Brozak's are known for their strength . At least that is how I've always thought of my family.

Papaw has never been the affectionate type . In my whole life , I've only heard him say "love you " to my grandma . Until the day he came to the hospital to see me and Gracelynn. I don't remember talking to him . I know he held Gracelynn , Tyler said he stopped by a couple times while we were in the hospital , but I don't remember. The only part I do remember is him coming to the side of my bed , kissing me on my cheek and saying ' I love you " to me . I remember staring at him , thinking " did that just happen? or is it just the pain meds making me crazy?" That moment , those words , the sound of his voice and the touch of his hands on my face . That is a moment that I will never forget . It is a moment that I will cherish for the rest of my life .

Until next time...

Tulips of Pink